Never Insult the Gods
by Nom Tasty
Summary: The Gods have been insulted by the wizards one too many times and want to teach them a lesson. But these are the Gods we're talking about, so they want to have fun, so they decide to send their own to the Tri-wizard Tournament, to show off what divine blood can really do.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all. It's actually kind of depressing, really. I'm not Rick Riordan nor am I JK Rowling. I'm going to sit in the corner now... And cry...**

**Summary: The Gods have been insulted by the wizards one too many times and want to teach them a lesson. But these are the Gods we're talking about, so they want to have fun, so they decide to send their own to the Tri-wizard Tournament, to show off what divine blood can really do.**

**Ok, I've just discovered the joys of Crossovers on Fanfiction, in the form of two of my favourite book authors of all time (along with Tamora Pierce and Garth Nix), and found that I loved it when the demigods go to Hogwarts. But, there aren't enough of them! All of them look like they're abandoned, and only like three have been updated within a year! Wah! So, me thinks that it's my turn~!**

**Set after the events of the Last Olympian, during the Goblet of Fire.**

**Also, if the events appear to be out of order or inconsistent to either book series... Crap, it's not meant to, so please just let it slide, ok?**

**~Nom Nom :3**

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**Never Insult the Gods**

**Chapter One: Stupid Wizards Cause Us Trouble**

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Never insult the Gods. That was something that Chiron, and the other camp mates, drilled into any newbie. Never, under any circumstances, insult the Gods. When I first was told the things not to do, it was... Interesting. They started off normal, like don't trespass into their respective cabins without permission, always pray to them if you want to enter their realm, etc., but there were things like (and I quote Chiron here) "don't defecate on their cabins". Yeah, that was what he said. After Annabeth explained what 'defecate' was, I shuddered to think what had happened to actually need to tell new campers that.

After that came curses, yet this was the unusual part. Using the word 'Gods' was fine, but 'God' made them angry because it was like choosing between them, most likely the birth parent, and that angered them. These rules were especially important for children of the Twelve Olympians, and even more so for the ones of the Big Three, because the other Gods wouldn't hesitate to kill them.

Then came the weirdest part. They didn't mind swearing if it was done in Ancient Greek, but otherwise it was forbidden and replaced with 'Hades'. I mean, they were just being picky there! It was like a mother telling her child that he could have sweets only if he recited the alphabet. Well, it wasn't remotely similar to that, but still...

Anyway, the Gods hated to be insulted. They turned a blind eye to most mortals because they couldn't just announce their existence, but it didn't mean that there weren't floods, lightning strikes, earthquakes, bad harvests etc. that happened to them. They didn't take any lives (well, tried not to, anyway), but it gave them some sort of release to their annoyance. But then 'it' happened.

It was the middle of August. I was returning back to camp from home, after I sorted out my stuff for the next year. This was the first time I decided to stay the whole year in camp, after my mother delightfully decided it for me (not that I objected), and was greeted by a deep kiss from Annabeth. My girlfriend. My hot girlfriend.

She was blonde (as usual), and had grey eyes that highlighted her beautiful face. Like all demigods (myself included, obviously), she was extremely good looking, and had tanned skin (a trait that all but the children of Hades possessed), with a defined body of muscles and little useless weight. She wore blue shorts that let her daggers show, and her shirt was a simple orange 'Camp Half-Blood' shirt.

"Hey, Seaweed Brain..." She smiled, resting our foreheads together, so my eyes could look directly into her grey ones. "Chiron wants us."

"Oh I knew he couldn't resist my ruggedly handsome good looks." I joked, earning a painless whack from Annabeth. But I still complained. "Oww..."

"No, he wants us to go to the Big House." She said, dragging me with her arm. She was insanely strong, and even though I could easily overpower what little strength she was using, I decided to let the touch continue (cue sappy music). "Something about a Quest."

Sappy moment over, I sped up and began to drag her along with me. It had hardly been a full month since the Titan War, but my ADHD brain had made it feel like years, because nothing - and I mean absolutely nothing - happened. The only thing that made it so I could even remotely cope was the fact that I had Annabeth, and our relationship.

When we reached the Big House, I dumped my bags next to the big pile at the door when Annabeth gestured at it, and ran inside to the sounds of the voices. We quickly opened the door to see Chiron standing with Clarisse, Will, Jake, Connor, Travis, Drew, Lou Ellen, Pollux, Katie, Rachel, Nico and Thalia. Now I was worried. And exited. And happy. And slightly hungry. I wonder what would be for dinner tonight... Off topic a little. Anyway, by the looks of it, Chiron had gathered the strongest demigods (and Oracle) from not just the camp, but the whole country here for this quest. I'm guessing that it means that we're not just going to do something small.

"So." He began, managing to get all is to pay attention, not an easy feat for eleven people with ADHD and Rachel. "You're all probably wondering why-"

"Can you just skip to the part where you tell us?" I interrupted, earning stifled laughs from most of them, and another whack from Annabeth, which I promptly ignored. But they all knew I was right. Chiron did have a tendency to go off on a tangent, even worse than a demigod would.

"Very well." He sighed. "The Gods have issued us a quest, and by Gods, I mean all of them. Every single God, right down to the minor deities."

Yup, I knew it was something serious, if all the Gods managed to agree on something (that almost never happened).

"They have been insulted-" That made a couple of us (mainly Thalia and me) snicker at the typical reaction from the Gods. Insult = Quest. "-community of wizards-" Thalia and I laughed silently when we heard Nico mutter something like 'pompous bastards' in Greek. "-will be is Hogwarts-" That made most of us laugh silently, with only Annabeth being the only one who didn't. Seriously though, who came up with that name?

I realised that I was laughing through the explanation, and Chiron sighed, as if reading my mind. "Ok Percy, try to pay attention this time." I nodded.

"The Gods have been insulted by some people called wizards." He started again. "These wizards are a group of mortals who have somehow managed to breach Hecate's realm through a gap. By the time Hecate noticed, the hole had became too big, and she was forced to seal off a section of her Magic Realm, where the wizards have been unconsciously tapping into it. Not only that, but now a few have even escaped death, created false immortality, and even created a way to cause unnatural death far worse than any regular mortal could do."

"I don't know what triggered it, but all the Gods are angry, but they cannot prove their point to the community of wizards, so they have decided to issue a quest to the camp's strongest, to travel there for a competition they do between certain schools, called the Tri-Wizard Tournament, but we will be doing something... Different alongside it. The place where the Tournament will be held is Hogwarts, England. They have been told of our coming, and we must show that the Greek Gods are still powerful." He sighed again. "Don't worry, not all of you will participate, just a selection."

That made some quite satisfied, while others (like me, of course) were annoyed, thinking that we actually might not be chosen. And to be honest, I only heard the first and last sentence because I lost interest. Again. Annabeth managed not to, somehow, and I'm sure she just lies about having ADHD to just fit in, but the I realised that she was looking past Chiron and to a painting on the wall of a Greek Amphitheatre. I sniggered. Typical.

"So, do you all understand?" Chiron said, snapping me out of my useless thoughts. Everyone nodded, so I decided to do the same, and try not to look like the odd one out. I would ask Annabeth later.

"Very well, off you go. In a week's time we will meet here again to discuss the details further." Chiron dismissed them. All the demigods left the Big House and dispersed, leaving just me, Annabeth, Thalia and Nico.

Thalia had black hair and blue eyes, and wore black clothes, from black boots to black pants, and even a black shirt. Nico looked like he could be her twin, or her younger brother at least, with messy black hair (all children of the Big Three had black hair for some reason...) and black clothes, the only difference his brown eyes and his paler skin.

"Thalia!" Annabeth smiled, hugging the other girl, who eagerly returned the hug. "What're you doing here?"

"Well Artemis wanted me to be her representative." Thunder boomed overhead. "And so did father." She quickly added.

We caught up. We all talked about what we've been up to since the war. While Annabeth and I were at camp and training for the past month, we learnt that Thalia had been hunting across the whole country, and Nico had been strengthening his Shadow Travel, after his father was not so subtle in hiding the fact that it would be used for lots of people, meaning Nico would be their transportation.

"That means we don't need to fly!" I cheered, earning a snort from Thalia. She was morbidly afraid of heights, but she wouldn't actually admit that.

"Yeah, but you're not the one who needs to take over a dozen people and a centaur to England..." He grumbled.

"Now, now, Mr Di Anglio, do I hear you giving up?" Thalia egged him, putting her arm over his shoulder. Nico and I were the only two men that Thalia was comfortable with (all Gods and creatures excluded).

"No, I never said that!" He growled when Thalia touched a nerve all children of the Big Three had: pride in their power, showing that they are better than the others.

"Well, it's settled then!" Annabeth beamed. "Now, we need to prepare for our entrance!" She smiled, her eyes clearly showing that a plan was forming. Wait, entrance? When did Chiron say that, was it when I was distracted?

"E-Entrance...?" I weakly asked, earning an annoyed look from Annabeth and laughs from Thalia and Nico.

"Seaweed Brain..." She sighed.

For a whole week we practiced. Nonstop. I swear, I didn't even get over eight hours of sleep over the whole week, and was begging Annabeth to let us sleep for the last day. She just grinned sadistically and whispered a sweet "No." into my ear. So we worked ourselves to the bone, perfecting the entrance that we would perform after we were revealed that we were not wizards (it still made me laugh and think about Hogwarts) and actually all that crap with Greek Gods, etcetera. Annabeth would take care of that part (and probably successfully bore them to death) while those of us with quite... Visual powers (mainly me, Nico and Thalia) would prove her point.

Chiron had gathered us all at Thalia's tree on departure day. He had was in his wheelchair and we each were instructed to pack our things. Clarisse, Will, Jake, Lou Ellen, Pollux, Katie, Rachel, Nico and Thalia were waiting for us, along with an older version of Lou Ellen. She smiled at me when we arrived. We were all wearing a uniform: a dark blue blazer with OADC embroidered on the left pocket in gold under a large capital omega (Ω) wrapped around a lower-case alpha (α). The undershirt was a very light orange, and the boys had a blue tie while the girls had a red tie. The girls had a skirt that went to their knees, with a small slit on the side, while the boys wore pants (Clarisse had also gone with the pants).

"Ah, Perseus, my favourite demigod." She smiled. "It's you I thank for my cabin that Lou here lives in, yes?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice. So this was Hecete…

"So, the finest nine demigods have been assembled along with the oracle and my only mortal daughter." She said, looking at each of us in turn. "Before you arrive, there are things you must know. Number one: monsters will be attracted to you in the castle, even more so than outside. Be vigilant. Number two: the headmaster of Hogwarts is a man called Albus Dumbledore, and he is my son. You can trust him. Number three: if you must, put the ministry in its place. They cannot control you. And finally, number four: Tom Riddle, or Voldemort, is to be killed by the end of the year."

Looking at the nodding faces, Hecete clapped her hands and a celestial bronze ring appeared on everyone's left middle finger. "These are rings that protect you against certain magics. They cannot be removed, so don't try." With another clap of her hands, everyone disappeared.

* * *

"Hey stop shoving!"

"Ow! Someone just elbowed me!"

"Sorry!"

"Hey, my foot!"

Harry just stood there looking on at the Weasley family as they tried to navigate King's Cross. Apparently they were like this every year, but this was the first time both himself and Hermione were with them. The disastrous Quidditch World Cup behind them, they were finally back to normal.

Then Ron fell and pushed over a man in a wheelchair.

Harry hid his head in his hands.

Oh. God.

The man fell over making a loud clattering sound and caused both min and Ron to go sprawling. Fortunately, the man was with what looked like his students, six girls and five boys, as they were all wearing a school uniform, and was quickly helped up. The only girl wearing pants glared at Ron, making him gulp loudly.

"S-sorry about th-that s-sir!" Ron stuttered, his face turning bright red. The man simply waved it off.

"Nonsense. Accidents happen." He reassured.

Everyone attempted to ignore the mutter of _"Not very likely…"_ from the girl.

"I'm so sorry about my son Mr…" Mrs Weasley said, tailing off not being supplied with a name.

"Brunner. Mr Brunner."

Mrs Weasley brightened, looking at the crest on the shirts before smiling. "Oh, you're from the Olympian Academy for Divine Children!" She said enthusiastically. "Well, hello, nice to meet you! These six-" She gestured to Ron, Hermione, Harry, Ginny, George and Fred. "-attend Hogwarts."

While the said children looked confused, everyone else smiled. "Ah, so we'll be seeing them at Hogwarts?"

"Indeed." Mrs Weasley looked at them. "Do you want to follow us to the right pillar? Many newcomers tent to choose the wrong one."

Mr Brunner nodded and set off besides Mrs Weasley, followed closely by the eleven students. The six people currently attending Hogwarts shot each other questioning looks, but otherwise remained silent, and before they knew it they were all safely on Platform 9 ¾.

"Well, I thank you for that." Mr Brunner said, nodding towards Mrs Weasley. "But we really must be heading off now."

"Why?" Hermione finally interrupted, her curiosity overcoming her other senses. "The Hogwarts Express is the only way to Hogwarts."

"Not to me." Said a voice behind them, causing them all to turn around. There stood a woman, about 5ft 8, with long black hair, porcelain skin and wearing a long black dress. Her mouth was in a smirk, and she looked out of place on the dirty platform. She looked like a Pureblood Lady.

"Mom?" One of the girls called, her voice shocked.

"Lou Ellen, hello again." She said, smiling.

The rest of the students lowered their heads, and even Mr Brunner looked respectful. "My Lady, I didn't realise you would be taking us."

"Well, I need to discuss things with my son, so I may as well assist your traveling." She clicked her fingers at the students. "Join hands." She commanded. She took the remaining two hands, between her daughter and a tanned black-haired boy. Then they vanished.

"Whoa!" Ron gasped. "She apparated with twelve people? She must be powerful!"

Hermione on the other hand frowned. "But apparation makes a pop. They didn't."

"You probably missed it in the noise, Hermione." Ron shrugged, before turning to help Ginny with her trunk.

"You can't apparate to Hogwarts…" She whispered, looking at the place the woman had disappeared from.

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**Chappie done~!**

**Ok, I found this, and it was something I had wrote over a year ago. It's a finished chapter, so I thought why not publish it?**

**Review with your thoughts!**

**~Nom Nom :3**


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